Grandslam #19 May/Jun 03

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
MAY/JUN 03 ISSUE #19

1. Message from the Editor
As Convenor Carlton Parker is out gallivanting in the USA and no doubt honing up on his bridge skills, I have taken this opportunity, on his behalf, to write a few words on that strange animal called “partner”, the theme of this month’s newsletter.

While games like Tennis and Badminton clearly have their “doubles” game, none approaches the complete dependency between partners in Bridge. We all have come across various shades of them. From the stubborn to the mild, from sparks of brilliancy to the totally blur, from the polite to the rude. The bottom line -- adapt or else!

In the course of our bridge career we will go through many partners. With each change, we lose the familiarity and style of our previous partner, but we cherish what we have learnt and no doubt, carry a part of him into our new relationship. As we improve and gain deeper insights into the game, we come to understand that ability is just not enough in Bridge. To do well, you and your partner need to complement each other so that the synergy generated goes beyond the sum of the parts.

2. Bridge Section 4th AGM and 3rd Inter-Club Teams
The SRC Bridge Section will be holding its AGM on Sunday 29th June at 1pm. This will be followed by the Invitational Inter-club Teams event. The match will break for Dinner at about 6.30pm and the match should finish by 10pm. All bridge section members are sincerely encouraged to attend the AGM, play in the team event and enjoy the dinner. We hope to form several teams of varying strengths. Do let any committee member know of your interest.

3. SICC’s New Bridge Room
On March 28, the Singapore Island Country Club celebrated the grand opening of their beautiful new 20 table capacity dedicated Bridge room at the Upper Thompson Rd location. Mr Lim Swee Say, Minister for the Environment, viewed the facilities and watched the bridge players in action. An excellent buffet dinner followed.

The Official Opening Bridge Game had 34 pairs invited from clubs throughout Singapore. 5 players were invited from SRC. It was a close affair. The winners, who were tied at 65.28%, were Lam Ze Ying & Wong Choo Wai and Loo Choon Chou & Poon Hua with Chris & Raj third. SRC managed 12th through Zain Moledina, partnering Peter Arnett and 13th through Yu Chun Yee, partnering S. T. Chow.

4. Chinese Swimming Club – Bi-Monthly Games
CSC has increased their open games to twice a month and SRC continues to do very well. Dorothy, partnering Ron won the March 8th game. On March 22, CSC’s Alice and Yap won with SRC’s Zain and Shamim in second place. Chris, partnering Ron won on 12th April.

5. SCBA Easter Congress Mixed Pairs (April 18)
SRC sent 3 Pairs to this event which was won by Loo Choon Chou/YQ Wong with 64%. The highest SRC pair was Zain/Shamim with 47%.

6. SRC Bridge Results – March 3rd to April 28th
DATE Pairs FIRST SECOND THIRD
3 Mar 12 Alex/Molly Ronnie Oh/Richard Helen/BK
10 Mar (results not available) Peter/Anna
17 Mar 12 Peter/Anna Yu/Zain EngChoo/Veronica
24 Mar 12 Yu/Zain EngChoo/Veronica Ronnie/Richard
31 Mar 11 EngChoo/Veronica Yu/? Helen/B K Tham
7 Apr 10 Yu/Zain Ronnie Oh/Richard Helen/BK Tham
14 Apr 12 Richard/RonnieOh Yu/Zain Rahim/Ron
21 Apr 7 Yu/Zain Dorothy/Richard Jane/Lucy
28 Apr 8 Foo/Ee Rahim/Ron Shamim/Molly
Yu/Zain

7. Bridge Escapade to Genting Highland Postponed
The 3rd Annual Bridge Escapade to Genting Highlands planned for 4th May has been postponed to reduce possible exposure to SARS. Apologies to everyone. Watch out for the new date.

8. Goodbye Prof. Lim
Prof. Lim Kok Ann, 83, who was a pioneer of intellectual games in Singapore, passed away on 8th March 2003. While better known for his significant contributions to Chess, he was also an avid and regular Bridge player with a great sense of humour. Goodbye Prof. Lim.

9. Computer Partners
With so many Bridge-playing programs in the market, it is interesting to hear what the software guru himself has to say about it. Bill Gates, the 40-Billion (US) Dollar man, participated in The World Bridge Championships in Montreal last August. He partnered Sharon Osberg in the mixed pair event.
“At the moment, computers are way behind…” he said, “Even I consider myself a better player than most computers at Bridge. I have no plans to change that.”

10. Chance of a Lifetime – The Lightner Double
A Lightner Double is used when a Slam has been freely bid. It asks partner for an unusual lead – usually dummy’s first bid suit – which the Doubler wants to ruff. This occurs so rarely in real life that the convention is almost useless. Well, not quite. It did occur on 20th April at SGCC and the cold doubled slam was destined to go down with a Diamond Lead (Dummy’s first bid suit).
Unfortunately, his partner forgot the convention and led a heart and the contract was made. Although I was the fortunate declarer in that contract, there was really no cause to rejoice. A first hand experience of seeing a Lightner Double executed successfully would have made the bottom board worthwhile!
Puzzles ? ? ? ? Puzzles
11. Breaking the Partner-ship
In the last issue, the puzzle was to find the number of words in the letters “B R I D G E”. Now try your skill on “P A R T N E R”. Remember no proper nouns or short forms. Give yourself 1pt for each 3-letter word, 2pts for 4-letters, 4pts for 5-letters, 8pts for 6-letters and 15pts for 7-letter words (aside from partner, of course). Good Luck.
100pts Good : 120pts Very Good : 140pts Excellent : 155pts Word Wizard.
12. Fewest HCP – Small Slam
In the previous issue we saw that just 5 HCP were needed for a grandslam. To be able to make a small slam against best defense, what is the fewest number of High Card Points a partnership may hold.

13. Belle Trained
Asked by his friends how he fares partnering his wife, Peter replies “I am British. We have a Queen on the throne for half a century had a female Prime Minister for 3 terms and I have been married for 40 years. I know how to take orders from a woman.”

14. Doctor’s Remedy
A pretty young thing showed up at her Bridge Club without a partner and carrying an apple.
“Isn’t it obvious? I don’t want to end up partnering that old grouch Dr. Gruff. Everybody knows an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

15. Silent Partner
Blessed is a partner who has nothing bad to say and cannot be persuaded to say it.

16. Controlling Your Words
If you can’t be kind to your partner, at least be vague

17. Partner Barter?
“Guess what! I got a new pack of cards for my bridge partner.”
“Sounds like you made a pretty good trade”

18. Partnering Your Boss
“Don’t you find it difficult to partner your boss at bridge”
“Not really. He goes his way and I go his way.”

19. Lovable Partner
Wife: You scold me all the time at bridge. See how much Janet’s husband loves her? Can’t you be the same?
Husband: Sure, but will Janet agree?

20. Dropping the Singleton
Sam bid aggressively and pushed to 7S. As Sam was putting his hand down as dummy, he asked his partner “Is there any way to make the contract?”
His partner, Joe, calmly replied “Sure Sam, we have to hope that the SK, SQ and SJ are all singletons.”

21. Missing a Trump
Sam has a short memory and soon he again pushed to 7H on the next hand. As he was putting his hand down as dummy he again asked Joe, his partner “I have 3 honours in Hearts this time, partner, can we make the contract?”
“No problem, Sam” Joe replied “we have to hope that the Ace of trumps is on the right side.”

22. Backfired Apology
Sam : Sorry partner, my brain just went dead
Joe : Not only dead, decomposed.

23. Changing Partners
Larry: Hey Sam, why don’t you partner Joe anymore?
Sam: Would you play bridge with an incompetent and rude partner?
Larry: I guess not
Sam: Neither will Joe

24. Salvaging your Pride
Even if you go down 5 tricks doubled, it should not be considered a complete failure. After all, you can always use it as an example of poor bidding by your partner.


25. Perfect Partner
A perfect partner is one that bids and plays perfectly and accepts that his partner does not.

26. Blurred
A man was filling in the form at the optometrist for an eye test. Under the section that said “Recommended By: ” he filled in “My Bridge Partner”

27. Looking for Partner
Sam: I am looking for a partner who is strong. A partner who is understanding.”
Joe: Well, make up your mind

28. Bridge Player’s Hell
Driving home after an all night Bridge session, 3 very sleepy and drunk bridge players went over a cliff, died and went to Hell.

“Welcome, welcome to Hell” said the devil to the dazed players.
“I don’t see any fire and brimstone here,” said Al, who was an excellent and accurate Bidder.
“That is old fashion.” retorted the Devil “Nowadays we are customer oriented and we customize our punishment to fit our customers."
“For you, Al,” the devil continued, “your bridge partner for all eternity will be a person who will always bid a grandslam except when you can actually make a grandslam, in which case, he will pass your opening bid”. Al fainted at the thought
The devil now turned to Bill, who was very good in bridge defense. “Your partner for eternity will be this old color blind lady with severe astigmatism. She cannot tell which suit is which and will revoke throughout the game, costing you a lot of penalty tricks.” Needless to say, Bill screamed in agony.
The devil’s attention now turned to Sam, who was already shivering from fright. Sam was a lousy bridge player who never ever admits he is ever wrong. He continuously insults, shouts and complains about his partner’s every bid and play.
“You will have to play with this man,” said the devil as he walked away.
“H..e..ll..o” said Sam “my name is Sam and you are my partner for eternity”
“My name is Charles Goren, and you are my punishment” he sobbed.

29. Partner’s Purpose
My partner’s sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
30. Answer : Breaking the Partner-ship
I found 68 words for a total of 159 points, although there could be some that I may have missed.
3-letters: ant ape apt are art ate ear eat era err nap net pan par pat pea pen per pet ran rap rat tan tap tar tea ten (27 x 1 = 27pts).
4-letters: ante earn nape near neat pane pant part pare pate pear peat pent pert rant rape rapt rare rate rear reap rent tape tare tarn tear tern trap (28 x 2 = 56pts)
5-letters: parer paten prate raper rater reran taper (7 x 4 = 28pts)
6-letters: entrap errant parent prater ranter trepan (6 x 8 = 48pts)
31. Answer : Fewest HCP – Small Slam
Before you blame your partner for reckless over bidding, just remember that only 3 HCP could be needed for Small Slam under ideal conditions. For example, in 6S, declarer has S: Q J 10 9 8 7. H: 8 7 6 5 4 3 2, and dummy has: S: 6 5 4 3 2 D: 5 4 3 2 C: 5 4 3 2. The spade trumps split 1-1, the hearts 3-3 and no voids. Declarer ruffs the opening lead, loses a trump, ruffs the return and the heart suit is established by cross-ruffing 3 times. (Needless to say, the opponents have 7NT cold)

In the next issue, the fewest HCP needed for Game.

Editor: Zain Moledina
1st May 2003