Grandslam #22

THE GRANDSLAM

SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER





NOV/DEC 03 ISSUE #22



1. Message from the Convenor – B. K. Tham

The last two months have passed real quickly and the end of 2003 is just round the corner. The SRC Bridge Section is looking forward to the event of the year – the SRC Pairs Event on November 30th. If you are on our list and have not signed up yet, do so soon. And remind your friends as well. (see below)

We have reluctantly called off the weekly Tuesday and Thursday practice sessions for beginners due to lack of response. We hope they will join us for our regular Monday sessions.

We hope to start another beginner’s class geared towards the “family” during the school holidays in December. (see below)



2. SRC Annual Pairs Event – 30th November

Once again, it is time for our annual Pairs event on 30th November for the Moledina Challenge Trophy for those who have supported us during the year. There is going to be a lot of cash vouchers to be given not only to the winners, but also to those who bid and make special contracts and solve puzzles. The game will start at 2pm. Dinner will be at 6pm and the match will conclude before 10pm. You can register with and pay to any committee member.



3. Parent & Child Bridge Course

Do you want your child to improve his/her memory and analytical skills? How about his confidence level and social interaction with older people? What about your own mental level?

Well, SRC Bridge Section is having a special Parent & Child Express Bridge Course during the December holidays. Over 20 hours of instruction and practice will be offered in three weeks over 6 lessons for a highly subsidised price that you will just not believe! Get the form quickly from the SRC foyer and get the early bird discount as well!

Play for Fun. Improve your Brain. Hobby for Life.



4. New Bridge Club at Siglap CC

We like to welcome the creation of a new Bridge Club at the Siglap Community Centre at Bedok North Ave 3. The inaugural friendly game took place on Saturday 13th September.



The management of the CC recognises the value of intellectual games and has been very forthcoming in their support even though the club was not budgeted in the current year.



Kudos to Tan Eng Choo for her initiative and effort. It will be the 3rd CC to offer Bridge (along with Bishan and Tanglin). The cost to join is just $12 a year.



Mr Foo J K is the chairman. The committee members elected on 8 Oct are Tan Eng Choo (VC) Carlton J Parker (Sec) Tan Soh Hong (A.Sec) Ee Guan Chwee (Trea) Stephen Ooi, Veronica Png (Committee Members).



The official opening Bridge Tournament was held on Siglap CC Carnival Day, 26 Oct and Mr. Abdulla Tarmurgi was there to give away the prizes. Congratulation to SRC’s Dorothy & Richard for winning the tournament. 2nd was Veronica & Eng Choo with Ee & Foo 3rd.



5. Deceptive Play

It is a normal part of bridge to make deceptive plays to confuse the opponents - as long as these are not part of an undisclosed partnership agreement. You are free, for example, to play a card different from what might be expected from your holding, as long as you do it smoothly and without comment. Similarly, you are free to make a discard which is inconsistent with your system to upset the opposition, provided that this is as much of a surprise to your partner as it is to the opponents.



With regard to making deceptive bids (psychic bids), different clubs may have different rules on this. While SRC disallows them, other clubs may have different rules.



6. SRC Monday Bridge Results – Sept 1st to Oct 27th

DATE Pairs FIRST SECOND THIRD

1 Sep 12 Molly/Jane Foo/Ee Zain/Shamim

8 Sep 9 Pat S/John Dorothy/Ron O Molly/Shamim

15 Sep 9 Zain/Shamim Yu/Ping Dorothy/Ron Oh

22 Sep 10 Yu/Ron S Lucy/Alex Pat S/John

29 Sep 8 Pat S/John Rahim/Ron EngChoo/Veronica

6 Oct 7 Carl/Chris Pat L/Ron O Ron/Rahim

13 Oct 8 Pat S/John Lucy/Veronica Carl/Chris

20 Oct 9 Dorothy/Ron O Ee/Foo Rana/SohHong

27 Oct 10 AiLeng/Adrian EngChoo/David Chia/Ron Q

Congratulations to Pat and John for their triple win.



7. History of Bridge Part 3 - The Great Bridge of China

In this feature, we go back to the very invention of cards.

There is some evidence to show that cards were invented in China about a thousand years ago. (India is also a possibility) The height of the Chinese cards was about the same as our cards today, but they were half the width. A legend claims that Emperor Suen-Ho invented them in 1120 to keep his concubines happy! However, the evidence points to at least a century earlier.

The card games played in China were mainly for gambling, but Deng Xiao Ping changed all that in 1978 when he took control of China after the death of Chairman Mao. One of his first acts was to promote some of his bridge-playing comrades to top government posts! Perhaps he felt that he could better gauge the personality and intelligence of people whom he played Bridge with. The game was then actively promoted and China is now a major Asian power in the game.

“When the Chinese people see me playing Bridge” Deng declared “they are reassured as to my mental health.” It was not until the 1990s that scientific studies finally verified Deng’s claims.

Like most of China (and Taiwan), the bidding system used by Deng was the Precision System developed by C.C. Wei.



8. Novice’s Lament

“All the bridge tournaments I have participated in have 3 things in common – an optimistic beginning, a tough middle and a lousy end”



9. Humility

Humility is a strange thing – the moment you think you have it, you have lost it!



10. Sezs Who!

Erik and his team had just won the World Championships. He returned to his hometown and went to his local club for a game of bridge. About midway through the game, he is competing in spades against the opponents, who were bidding hearts. Finally, he yanks out the 3S bid from the bidding box and slaps it on the table loudly, so he won't get doubled. It doesn't work. His opponent doubles.
Erik looks at him and says: "Do you know who I am?'

The guy says: "Yes I know who you are."

Erik says: "Do you know how many masterpoints I have?"

The guy says, "No, but do you know how many spades I have?"



11. Two Timing Queen

P. Hal Sims was one of “The 4 Horsemen” – a team that won several major tournaments in the 1930s. Nowadays, he is mainly remembered for his incredible ability to read the body language of his opponents and, by so doing, made the extraordinary claim that he could never ever misguess the queen in a 2-way finesse position.

One day, his friends played a trick on him and set up a hand where there was a 2-way finesse in the trump suit. He gazed at both opponents intently and then made the incredible statement “Goddamn it – they’ve both got the queen!”

Needless to say, this was the trick his friends were trying to pull on him. They inserted an extra Queen in the rigged hand, so that whichever way he finessed, he would lose.

The record of P. Hal Sims, body language reader extrodinaire, remains firmly intact.



12. Counting on You

Count your losers and count your winners. If the total doesn't come to 13, count your cards.



? ? Puzzles ? ? Puzzles ? ? Puzzles ? ?

13. Double Dealing

A man had dealt about half the cards for a bridge game when he was distracted by a telephone call. When he finished his conversation, no one could remember who had been dealt the last card. Without knowing the number of cards in any of the 4 partly dealt hands, or the number of cards left in the undealt part of the pack, how could the deal be completed so that everyone received the cards they would have received had the deal not been interrupted?



14. Least Likely Hands

Which of these bridge hands is the least likely to be dealt?

(A) S: A 6 2 H: K 9 2 D: J 10 3 C: Q 8 7 3

(B) 13 cards of the same suit,

(C) 13 black cards.



15. Understanding Happiness during Bridge - by Inzane

A Smile occurs when you greet your partner before the game.

A fake Smile occurs when you greet your opponents on the table.

A Grin occurs when your finesse works

A Chuckle occurs when your squeeze works

A Snicker occurs when your opponent makes a silly mistake.

A Snigger occurs when you want the rest of the room to know it as well.

A boisterous Laughter occurs when you join your friends for a drink after the game and you tell them about the silly mistakes everyone else made.



16. Falling Odds

Joe returned very late at night from a bridge game and excitedly told his non-bridge playing wife “What a fantastic hand I was dealt today. I had 10 Spades in my hand including all the honours!”

His wife said nothing.

“You don’t understand the odds. It happens once in a million deals!” Joe explained.

Without looking up, she replied. “I figure you must have played about that many.”



17. Early Starter

George Kaufman was a famous playwright and an excellent bridge player. Needless to say, some of his wit spilt onto the bridge table.

After partnering a pretty young thing, he sweetly inquired “Tell me, my dear, when did you learn to play bridge? I know it was today, but what time today?”



18. Bridge over Troubled Waters

3 guys who have been stranded on a desert island for over ten years,
sees an unusual speck on the horizon.
"It's certainly not a ship," one says to another.
As the speck gets closer and closer, they begin to rule out the possibilities of a boat, then even a raft.
Then slowly emerging from the surf comes a drop-dead gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba gear.
She approaches the stunned guys and says, "Tell me, how long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
"Ten years," they replied.

With that, she reaches over and unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of cigarettes and matches. They each take one, light it, and take a long drag and say, “Man, oh man That’s good!" She continued "And how long has it been since you've had a sip of scotch?"

Trembling with excitement, the castaways reply, "Ten years."

She reaches over, unzips her right sleeve, pulls out a flask and hands it to them. They open the flask and each of them takes a long swig. “Man, oh man That’s good!" they drooled.
At this point she starts SLOWLY unzipping the long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit, looks at the men seductively and asks,

"And how long has it been since you've played around?"
The 3 guys fall to their knees and sob, "On my God! Don't tell me you've brought along Bridge cards too!”



19. Daffy-nit-shuns -- Bridge Expert

A Bridge Expert is a person who can tell you more about the game than you really care to know.



20. Not That Smart

A man walked by a table where 3 people were playing bridge with a dog, which was playing with extraordinary concentration.

"This must be a very smart dog," the man commented
"Not so smart," said the dog’s partner, "He forgot to unblock the ace in a straightforward Vienna Coup in the last hand.”



21. Bridge Tongue Twister – by Inzane

Bridge makes Old Men’s Mind Younger and Young Men’s Mind Older.

(Try to repeat 5 times very quickly without making a mistake)



22. How’s That Again?

Misprint in an upcoming bridge tournament flyer “There will be a $2 registration feel for ladies at the door”



23. Answer -- Double Dealing

He started dealing from the bottom in the reverse direction starting from himself.



24. Answer -- Least Likely Hands

(A) S: A 6 2 H: K 9 2 D: J 10 3 C: Q 8 7 3 is the rarest because it is one specific hand. Next time you pick up your 13 cards, just remember that you will never ever see it again in your lifetime.

(B) “13 cards in the same suit” comprises of four specific hands, hence it is four times more likely as (A).

(C) “13 black cards” comprises millions of hands



Editor: Zain Moledina

1st November 2003