Grandslam #33

THE GRANDSLAM

SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER

SEP/OCT/NOV 05 ISSUE #33

1.Message from the Convenor – Shamim Moledina

First and foremost, I want to congratulate the Singapore Ladies Team for qualifying for the World Bridge Championships – The Venice Cup! This will be held in Estoril, Portugal on October 22nd and we wish them all the very best and make Singapore proud. This is a superb achievement as there are so few sports that Singapore can be called “world class”.

I am really proud of Dorothy for winning the Siglap CC Open Pairs. I know she has put in a lot of effort to add conventions into her bidding armory. However, in our inaugural Inter-Club, we could not maintain our unbeaten record and we now stand 7-2 with 1 game to go.

We have some exciting activities coming up. Our annual pairs event in November has always delivered in terms of thrills and this year should be no different. We are also experimenting with a computer based beginner class which, I believe, will be the first in Singapore. The logistics are quite daunting, but hopefully we can pull it off with the support from the club.

I hope everyone make a conscious effort to keep our Tuesday’s game friendly and harmonious. As a player improves, so does his competitiveness. However, this should not be at the expense of plain courtesy and mutual respect. If all fails, just remember the old bridge adage “Your partner won’t listen to your advice and the opponents don’t care anyway.” There is really no meaning to push your point anyway as your partner may very well be your opponent in future matches! Lots of partner stuff in this special “partner” issue … enjoy!

2. Singapore Qualifies for Venice Cup

Hearty congratulations to the Singapore Ladies Team of Jane Choo, Greta Chai, Lan Foo, C C Seet, Endo Kimiko and Lam Ze Ying for qualifying for first time ever for the World Bridge Championships – the Venice Cup. They qualified to represent Asia (along with China and Japan) after their performance at the 2005 Pacific Asia Bridge Federation Championship in Seoul, Korea. They will now be playing against USA, Italy and other qualifiers from all over the world. The Venice Cup is the biggest event in Women’s bridge. It was the first time that bridge was covered on Singapore’s radio 95.8 including an interview with one of the player!

3. Siglap CC Open Pairs – 4th September

SRC had 7 players across 6 pairs in this event which had a total of 21 pairs altogether. SRC took 3 of the top 4 positions with Dorothy Wong (partnering Ron Savage) taking top spot. David/Adrian were 2nd with Shamim Moledina (partnering Wei Jie) 3rd. Other SRC positions were Zain (4th), BK (8th), Adelene (10th) and Leong/Pat(12th). Well done!

4. SCBA 19th Inter-Club League - update

After a solid start against PARC, Siglap & CLRXY, our “odyssey” has hit turbulent waters. We beat IRAS 21-9, beat BTCC 21-9, lost to LTA 2-25, lost to NUS 10-20, Beat NTU 17-15 and beat Victoria JC 18-0

5. SRC Open Pairs – Sunday 20th November

Our annual event is just round the corner so block out your calendar for that day. Prizes and food galore. Watch out for details real soon..

6. Genting Bridge Escapade 2005 – 14th to 18th August

The annual Bridge Escapade to the cool hills of Genting once again attracted those who wanted to relax and play bridge away from the heat and pressure of Singapore. The private function room provided the perfect ambience for the 3 tournaments as well as for private games at other times during the week.

As usual, the activity-packed resort had numerous diversions to keep even the most ardent bridge enthusiast busy during the non-bridge hours. Unlike other years, most gamblers actually made money on the casino in spite of the “hungry ghost” season.

The all-inclusive “Fruit & Food” buffet dinners did little to help the waistline. The unlimited durians were just too good to resist.

Bridgewise, David was in top form winning 2 of the 3 matches partnering Koh & Zain and coming in 2nd in the third with Rana. Zain won both the matches he played in with Leong and David. However, the cake must go to Steven who was totally over the moon with his 3rd place finish with Nancy. He had a grin that probably extended well beyond his ears! He said it was the first time he had ever won a prize in bridge. I will be rooting for you Steven. I want to be there when you win your first tournament just to see that super grin again! Cheshire Cat – eat your heart out.

7. Beginner Bridge Class – Fridays 7.30 pm starting 14th October

Are you a little nervous to take the plunge into duplicate bridge? How about a little refresher to prime up those rusty grey cells? Or perhaps you have heard about bridge and are interested to know what it is all about? Well you are in luck. Barring unforeseen circumstances, SRC is holding its FIRST EVER Computer Beginner Bridge Class using Freeware from the Internet! Put in the CD and you are ready to go. Don’t understand what is going on? No problem, go through the same hands slowly on your computer at home. Wait! There is more. The course is totally free for SRC members. Zain has volunteered to teach this course.

Due to overwhelming response, registration is now closed. Look out for the next course.

8. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results – July 5th to Sept 20th

DATE FIRST SECOND THIRD

July 5 Carl/RonS Dorothy/Richard BK/Helen

July 12 Dorothy/RonS Lawrence/YewChung Carl/Molly

July 19 Carl/Alan Greg/Molly BK/Leong

July 26 Greg/Molly David/Tanny Lucy/SuanLin

Aug 2 Zain/RonS Rana/Carl Leong/Pat

Aug 23 Ting/B.K. Zain/Dulari Molly/Greg

Aug 30 Ting/Yu Florence*/Peng Huat Richard/Steven

Sep 6 Dulari/Zain Shamim/RonO Ping/Yu

Sep 13 Dulari/Zain RonO/RonS=Lawrence/YewChung

Sep 20 Pat/Alan Dulari/Zain Leong/WeiJie=Yu/Ping

9. History of Bridge -- The Ultimate Bridge Quarrel

In Kansas City in the year 1931, Mr. Bennett was playing with his wife as his partner against Mr. and Mrs. Hoffmann. The couple had had some serious communication problems that day and they were uttering some rude remarks in public about the bidding and playing abilities of each other. Then came the fateful hand when Mr. Bennett bid a Spade, the opponent overcalled with Two Diamonds, and Mrs. Bennett raised to Four Spades. Mr. Bennett went one down and Mrs. Bennett could not hold her tongue. She became so enraged that she seemed hysterical. Mr. Bennett reached across the table, slapped her several times, as witnesses reported. Mrs. Bennett went into her mother's bedroom, retrieved the family automatic weapon, returned to the game room, and pointed the weapon at her husband. Mr. Bennett raced toward the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. But Mrs. Bennett fired two shots, which went through the wooden door, and killed Mr. Bennett.

Post Mortem: (Not the body, stupid, the 4S contract) It seems that Mr. Bennett could have made the contract according to Mr. Ely Culbertson, who later analyzed the cards.

L I g h t e r S I d e O f B r I d g e

10. Puzzle -- Two Finesses

What is the chance that at least two out of three finesses will work?

11. Roles of Partner

LOVE - When you're only interested in doing things with your partner.
LUST - When you're only interested in doing things to your partner.
MARRIAGE - When you're only interested in your Bridge partner.

12. Cock-eyed

Like contact lenses, a good partner is in the eye of the beholder.

13. Elm Street Boss

You really want to know what my partner is like. Freddy Kruger takes lessons from him.

14. Cheeky

“When we won the tournament, I kissed my partner on both cheeks”

“What a coincidence! I made so many mistakes, my partner told me to kiss his both his cheeks as well – the lower ones.”

15. Double Exposure

Don't argue with your partner; people watching may not be able to tell who the idiot is.

16. Fair and Square

I am quite fair to all my partners. I treat them all equally like idiots.

17. Mixed Blessing

You are lucky to have me as your partner as I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

18. Why Bridge is Better

You don't have to cuddle with your partner when you're finished.

19. Picture Perfect

My partner has a photographic memory. He just doesn’t have film.

20. Virgin Territory

I always forgive my partner for his mistakes. Thinking was unfamiliar territory to him.

21. Poor Start

Partner, I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

22. Missing Partner

Some people say that my partner has “table presence”. I don’t know. What I do know is that he has a perfectly delightful absence.

23. Null Hypothesis

My Partner started out with nothing & still has most of it left.

24. Train-Wrecked

Unfortunately, my Partner’s train of thought has a caboose

25. End Play

Not all Partners are annoying. Some are dead.

26. Fair Deal

I'll try being nicer, partner, if you'll try being smarter.

27. Dog Gone Days

What is the difference between a 3-week old puppy and a bridge partner?

In six weeks the puppy stops whining.

28. Sigh-lence Please

Player: Thanks for not telling me off for that mistake, Partner.

Partner: Shh! I'm trying to imagine you with a brain.

29. Un-Sorry, Partner

Okay, okay, I take it back! I Un-idiot you!

30. Escape Clause

The best thing about bridge is that if something goes wrong, you can tell everyone that your partner screwed up.

31. Forgone Conclusion

There are 5 methods on how to argue with your partner ... none works.

32. Heart Break

Bill: My cardiologist says I should not play bridge anymore.

Tom: Is bridge causing stress to your heart?

Bill: Nope, to my partner’s heart.

33. Silence Please

When arguing with your partner, never miss a good chance to shut up.

34, Survival of the Meanest

The only reason my partner is alive is because it's illegal to kill him.

35. Leveling With Partner

If I did everything right, Partner, I wouldn't be playing with you!

36. One Two

When my partner makes a mistake, I always count to 10 before saying anything. It usually takes him that long to recover from my punch anyway.

37. Puzzle Answer -- Two Finesses

Gut feeling is that to expect at least 2 out of 3 finesses to work should be below half, perhaps even a third. But instead of wrecking your brains on probability calculations, you can look at it this way. The chances that at least 2 out of 3 finesses work should be the same as at least 2 out of 3 finesses fail. Therefore, the odds are 50%.

Zain Moledina

Editor

zaris@pacific.net.sg

October 3rd 2005

Ed’s note: Apologies for the delay of this issue as my computer crashed. 37 part(ner)s to compensate.