Grandslam #24

THE GRANDSLAM

SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER

MAR/APR 04 ISSUE #24





1. Message from the Convenor – B. K. Tham

Hi fellow bridge players,



As you all know, our weekly Bridge Practice Session has been moved to the Tessensohn Room and the practice day changed from Monday to Tuesday. I believe members and guests will find it brighter and more spacious than the Milne Lounge, which was getting much too cramped due to the addition of the Game Machines and the wall-to-wall cabinet. A survey, which was conducted in November, had also indicated that more members preferred Tuesdays over Mondays. Nevertheless, I would appreciate your comments on this new arrangement.



By the time you read this newsletter, about 30 of us will be in the cool hills of Genting for a Bridge marathon. I hope no one will be too distracted by the gambling environment!



2. SRC Bridge New Venue & Day

Effective 27th January, SRC weekly bridge practice will be held on Tuesdays in the Tessensohn Room on the 2nd Floor.

Convenor B. K. Tham welcomed everyone present on the inaugural day and thanked them for being able to attend at such short notice. The venue was just confirmed the day before.

Finger food was provided to celebrate the occasion.



3. CSC Annual Open Pairs – 3rd January

40 Pairs participated in this event, which was spread over 2 sessions and 46 boards with a buffet meal in between to ease the tension.

CK Toh & CH Lim won the match. SRC managed 10th and 13th position through Yu Chun Yee (with David Tan) and Dorothy Wong (with Ron Savage) respectively.



4. SGCC Annual Loving Hearts - 8th Feburary

The annual Loving Hearts tournament was held at SGCC followed by a buffet dinner. SRC’s Zain Moledina partnering Rahim Rahmat won the tournament while SRC’s Shamim Moledina partnering Murli was 2nd.



5. Siglap CC Member/Non-Member Game – 22nd Feburary

Siglap CC held its first tournament of the year on Sunday morning. Diehard bridge players managed to shrug off Saturday’s late night to get to the club on time.

1st Rahim/Zain 2nd Eng Choo/Meng 3rd Ginny/Coleen.



6. Genting Bridge Escapade 4 – The Casino Tenace

Once again, the annual pilgrimage to Genting was filled to capacity. This year, the “thrill on the hill” will focus just on Bridge and Food, as most of the participants are “regulars”. Instead of having organised activities, numerous discount vouchers were given to everyone to cater for individual tastes and greater flexibility.



7. SRC Weekly Bridge Results – Jan 1st to Feb 24th

DATE Pairs FIRST SECOND THIRD

1 Jan 8 Alan/SuanLin Helen/BK= Pat/Leong=

5 Jan 10 RonOh/Molly RonS/Rahim David/EngChoo

12 Jan 9 Peter/Anna Pat/Leong BK/Chia

19 Jan 9 Molly/RonOh Shamim/Zain Joli/Yu

27 Jan 10 RonOh/Alan PengHuat/Alex Kanan/Greg

3 Feb 6 Rana/EngChoo Pat/Leong= Carl/Yu=
10 Feb 11 Carl/Yu* PengHuat/SuanLin EngChoo/Rana

17 Feb 7 Rahim/RonS Greg/RonQ= SohHong/RonOh=

24 Feb 9 Rahim/RonS EngChoo/Veronica=David/AiLeng=
* Achieved a credible 79.7% = tied



8. History of Bridge (5) - Flimsiest Excuse for Not Playing Bridge at an International Team Event

Everyone doesn’t feel like playing bridge sometimes and I am sure you have heard a lot of excuses. However, what if a National Team gives a strange excuse at an International event?

In 1976, the Team Olympiad was played in Monte Carlo. At that time, the apartheid policies of South Africa made it a pariah and some country’s government disallowed their teams to play against it.

When it was Thailand’s turn, the non-playing captain showed up waving Medical Certificates for 2 of his players and asked for exemption. Since there were 2 reserves in a team, he was told to field them instead.

Not being among the brightest to think on his feet, he replied “They are out buying rice!”



9. Tip of the Month

Establish your slow tricks quickly. When playing 3NT, the expert loses 4 tricks early while the novice loses 5 tricks late.



10. Where is the Queen?

Readers of THE GRANDSLAM should by now be familiar with the antics of P. Hal Sims, one of the brightest (and nastiest) stars of American bridge in the 30’s. By watching the expression and hesitation of his opponents, he could always tell who held the Queen. Once, when playing against two ladies, he had a two-way finesse for a queen.

After some thought, he dramatically announced that neither one of them could have it. Sure enough, one of them had accidentally dropped it on the floor!

11. Profile on Partners – The Hesitator

In each issue of “THE GRANDSLAM”, we will try to profile different kinds of partners/players. This time the focus is on “hesitators”. There are 2 main strains – the Sotong (squid) and the Fox.

The Sotong only starts to activate his neurons when it is his turn to play. He then starts to fiddle with his cards or the bidding box. By the time he makes a decision, he has not only transmitted a lot of illegal information to his partner, but to the declarer as well.

A typical scenario is when the dummy has an A-Q tenace and the Sotong is holding the King. Everybody knows (except the Sotong) that sooner or later Declarer will play a low card from his hand towards the dummy. Instead of planning ahead on what card to play, the Sotong is (unbelievably) caught unaware when the finesse occurs. As the sotong is generally a weak player and the hesitation is basically unintentional, the director is seldom called. So the sotong happily continues in this mode – as blur as ever.

Very much worse than the Sotong is the Fox. The Fox (or vixen) is basically an unethical player who deliberately hesitates to mislead the declarer, which, by the way, is illegal. Because his hesitation is of a much shorter duration than the sotong, it is not easy to call the director and prove that an unethical conduct has taken place. If the director is called, the Fox will either claim that he did not hesitate or will say that he was trying to decide which of his low cards to play! If you notice that your partner has the characteristics of a Fox, it is better to partner someone else. Your reputation may be blemished through your association with him or her.



12. A Full Circle

A bridge expert smiles with approval as he watches others commit the same mistakes as he used to make in order to become an expert.



P ? U ? Z ? Z ? L ? E ?



13. Puzzle #1 -- Greatest Score at Bridge

Without looking at the score sheet, what is the greatest score that can be won or lost on a single deal at duplicate bridge?



14. Puzzle #2 – Seating Position

In normal duplicate bridge, pairs must always sit in the same direction throughout the match. If a player at the first opportunity sits South and East, he must then sit South and East throughout the match. Most bridge players know this. The question is “Is there any restriction as to which direction a player must sit at his first opportunity?”



15. Eternity

Eternity is hard to conceive unless you are partnering a novice in a tournament.

j O K E S S E K O J



16. As Tears Go By

A certain lady who plays bridge wears contact lenses that often requires lubrication. She asked her friend, who also wears contact lenses, how she handles it.

“As you know” her friend said, “there is no time to go to the ladies and apply eye-drops during the game. So I try to cry to lubricate my eyes.”

“And how do you manage to do that?”

“Easy! I just think about my partner’s mistakes.”



17. Emergency Escape

A doctor answered the phone at his home and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.

"We need a fourth for bridge," said the friend.

"I'll be right over," whispered the doctor.

As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?"

"Oh yes, quite serious," said the doctor gravely. "There are three doctors there already!"



18. Exterior Motives

There was a heavy snowfall that evening and the bridge club was not expecting many people to brave the storm to attend their weekly bridge game. Finally 2 unshaven guys with tattoos walk in.

“For you guys to show up in this weather, you must really love the game” the convenor said.

“Nah, I just wanted to try out my 4-wheel drive truck under extreme conditions” the guy replies.



19. Modern Bridge

My partner is 20 years behind the times. Nowadays you just need 13 cards to bid. My partner still thinks you need high cards to open bid.



20. Beat That!

Two wives were discussing how badly their respective husbands play.

The first wife says, "Just let me tell you what happened last night. My husband was playing 7NT with 12 top tricks and he needed a spade finesse for 13. Dummy had the AQ of spades and the King was onside. So, what do you think the idiot did? He took the first 11 tricks and ended up in DUMMY. Now he played the Queen from the dummy at trick twelve!"

"So what's so bad about that?" says wife number two "My moron husband would have ducked his Queen!”



21. Following the Rules

Did you hear about the guy who led the 8 from 98 doubleton because his teacher told him "eight ever, nine never."



22. Final Bid?

When Oswald Jacoby was in his eighties, he bid every time it was his turn. When his partner asked why, he said: "At my age the bidding may not get back around to me again!"



23. Bridge Equipment

Asked why he does not play bridge with his wife anymore, the husband replied “I refuse to play in any game that requires earmuff and shin guards.”



24. Daffy-nit-shuns

Doubleton — 4,000 pounds



25. Daffy-nit-shuns

Roman Key-Card Blackwood — an ingenious convention that allows you to get to a grand slam missing 3 Aces.



26. Puzzle Answer #1 -- Greatest Score

7,600 (down 13, redoubled, vulnerable)



27. Puzzle Answer #2 – Seating Position

Yes. In Mixed-pairs Bridge at the highest level, men are required to sit North and East and women South and West. This is to ensure that players cannot gain any advantage through a seating strategy. Supposedly, the women are considered as the “weaker half” of the partnership! (Don’t shoot the messenger, I just report the news! – ed)



Zain Moledina