Grandslam #42

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
April/May 07 ISSUE #42

1. Message from the Convenor – Carlton Parker
The year is well underway with a major holiday season behind us and lots of opportunities to play Bridge in front of us. The second annual Premier Bridge League inter-club teams event kicked off on 18th March, and six more matches remain between now and the 10th June final session. Eight Clubs are participating this year (last year it was seven) in this "true" inter-club event where all team members must be members of their respective Clubs. All the best to our SRC team. We wish them success over the course of the event.

2. Goodbye Syqin. Welcome Back Sheryn
The Bridge Section Committee extends their best wishes and farewell to our Bridge Coordinator Syqin Edwards for her dedication and help over the past 2 years. She has been transferred to other sections within SRC. We are, nevertheless, extremely pleased that Sheryn Lim is back with us. Her past familiarity with our section will eliminate the learning curve and we are confident that there will be a smooth transition.

3. CSC Ang Pow Special – 24th Feb
15 pairs gathered for the Chinese Swimming Club Ang Pow Special. The assortment of CNY goodies was topped by Evelyn’s superb cheesecake and Carl’s succulent brownies! The event was won by the first-time 3-way (!) partnership of SRC’s Zain with CSC’s Robin and Eric. Robin had leave early for the Ching Gay Parade!
1st Zain Moledina (SRC) & Robin Fong/Eric Luk
2nd Dr. Siak & Tanny Siak
3rd Alice Phang & Josephine

4. SRC Bridge Section Community Service
Although we are a small section with very limited resources, our members and friends have been very supportive of charity projects organized by SRC. In the 10th March Charity Soccer Funfair, not only did we buy $500 worth of coupons, but almost everybody who bought DONATED them to needy children in homes and orphanages in Singapore. Thus, it became a "double" charity event. This effort was coordinated by Shamim. A special mention goes to Murli Vassanmal, BK & Helen Tham, Prof Yu Chun Yee and Adam & Roshan Moledina for their support. Needless to say, the children had a wonderful time.

5. THE GRANDSLAM Goes On-line
YES! THE GRANDSLAM is now On-Line! So if you can’t get enough of the bridge jokes or want to see what happened in, say, September 2004, you can access most of the past six years at the following website. Unfortunately, the first few issues have been lost to computer virus.
http://bridge-newsletter.blogspot.com/
Please note that all the graphics have been removed to improve speed and reduce memory usage. A few formatting issues are still being worked on.

6. Beginner Bridge Course - March 23rd
In line with past practice, we continue to have 2 beginner courses a year to introduce this fascinating game to our club members. This time round, Zain has come out of "teaching retirement" to volunteer as instructor. 10 people have signed up.

7. Bridge Rules of Thumb
We continue our series of tips with 5 on bidding.
1. Before opening the bidding, consider your rebid.
2. If you're not going to bid, don't ask the meaning of an alert until after the auction.
3. Blackwood was designed to keep you out of slam, not get you into it.
4. Do not make a weak two-bid with a side four-card major – you may miss a 4-4 fit.
5. Consider the vulnerabilities of both sides carefully before sacrificing.

8. How do I Improve?
It is wrong to assume that that everybody wants to play better bridge. If you are one of these contented people, I envy you. However, I believe that most of us do want to improve and are willing to invest time, effort and money to do so. The 4 points below summarises it.
THEORY: Take courses and read books to learn new bidding conventions and playing techniques. With a solid foundation, you can improve much faster than through trial and error. Make a real effort to remember and incorporate them into your system. Discuss and practice set hands with your partner and instructor.
PRACTICE: Play social, duplicate and on-line bridge at all levels to hone your skills and to test out your systems. You will be able to gauge how often it occurs and how it performs when the opponents are interfering. Discuss interesting hands after the match to see whether the bidding or play could have been better. Always make an effort to remember the important cards, distribution and signals. Watch out for familiar card patterns that you have studied so you will know how to handle them.
PARTNER: Find a nice regular partner who is about the same standard or slightly better than you (too much of a difference may cause friction) and more importantly, just as keen as you are to improve.
ABILITY/AGE: No matter what your age, intelligence, card sense or memory is, if there is a desire to improve, you will. It is, however, important to realize that there will be limitations and you should not get discouraged when you see others improving faster than you do. Keep trying harder in order to compensate for your limitations.

9. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results from Feb 6th to March 27th
DATE FIRST SECOND THIRD .
Feb 6 Nancy/RonOh Zain/Carl Alan/Lena
Feb 13 Beng Tee/Teodore Dot/RonS Alan/RonOh
Feb 20 Helen/Veronica Alan/Evelyn Dot/RonS
Feb 27 Alan/Lena RonOh/Nancy RonS/Dot
Mar 6* Shamim/Helen=Dot/RonS=Zain/Shawn
Mar 13 Yu/Ping David/Shamim Carl/Chris
Mar 20 Yu/Zain Dot/RonS Shamim/Rahim
Mar 27 Beng Tee/Teodore RonOh/Nancy Dot/RonS
*1st time in the history of SRC there has been a 3-way tie for first place.

Points to Ponder -- Points to Ponder -- Points to Ponder

10. Limited Horizon
"When dummy comes down, you must plan the play. Unfortunately it is not possible to look further than what you can see"

11. Hard Luck
Luck is what you have left after you have tried your very best.

12. Puzzle - Bidding Anagram
Each of these phrases is an anagram of a familiar bidding word or phrase. Can you unscramble them? 3 out of 5 is considered good. (Answer at bottom)
1. WOW! BAD KITE
2. DOPY AUNT BELLE
3. PEEP TIMID VERB
4. AVID JAM FORCERS
5. GET ONE VALUE BID

BROKEN BRIDG –JQK (jokes, quotes & krap)

13. No Pun Fartnering You
Although they get good results with other partners, Choo Wai and LL never do well when they partner each other. That only goes to show that Two Wongs don’t make a Right.
(sorry guys …ed)
If you enjoy Puns and Feghoots like the one above, you can visit my blog which has all my originals.
http://feghoots.blogspot.com

14. Bridging The Gap
Two old bridge partners, Abe and Sol, are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about bridge, like they do every day.
Abe turns to Sol and says, "Do you think there's bridge in heaven?"Sol thinks about it and replies, "I don’t know. But let's make a deal: if I die first, I'll come back and tell you and if you die first, you do the same."They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Abe passes on. One day soon afterward, Sol is sitting there feeding the pigeons by himself when he hears a voice whisper, "Sol... Sol"Sol responds, "Abe! Is that you?""Yes it is, Sol," whispers Abe's ghost.Sol, still amazed, asks, "So, is there bridge in heaven?""Well," says Abe, "I've got good news, bad news and very bad news.""Give me the good news first," says Sol.Abe says, "Well... there is bridge in heaven."Sol says, "That's great! What is the bad news?"Abe sighs and whispers, "You are supposed to partner me on Friday."
Sol ponders a little and say "Oh well, we all have to die sometime. That is not so bad, Abe,"
Abe looks down and mutters "But you will be busy elsewhere."

15. A Sign that You are a Bridge Addict
You set the alarm for 3am to play Internet Bridge with your overseas partner.

16. A Reason why Bridge is Better
It is perfectly acceptable to play with total strangers.

17. Another Reason why Bridge is Better
There are no Bridge transmitted diseases.

18. Yet Another Reason why bridge is better
You don’t have to lock your door when playing Bridge on the Internet.

19. Daffy-nit-shuns – Vienna Coup
Vienna Coup — the mating sound of Austrian doves.

20. Confusion Says …
He who stops being better stops being good

21. Falling Uphill
I use to drink milk, play bridge and never smoked. But after my wife ran away, I chain smoked, got drunk everyday and played poker and blackjack.
I didn't even have the chance to thank her.

22. Quick Start
There is always a time during the tournament when I am in first place. Unfortunately, that’s when the first round starts.

23. Wasted Talent
Having a good sense of humour is useless in bridge as the people you use it on are usually not in a very good mood.

24. Maximizing Fun
The way you have fun in Bridge is by winning.

25. Rise and Whine
I feel sorry for people who don't play bridge. They wake up in the morning and that's the best thing they are going to do all day.

26. Daffy-nit-shuns – Slam Cue Bids
Slam Cue Bids – An ingenious convention that allows you to get to a grand slam without the ace of trumps

27. End Play
Some people think that Bridge is a matter of life and death. Any competent bridge player will tell you that it is more serious than that.

28. Puzzle Answer - Bidding Anagram
1. Weak two-bid 2. Penalty double 3. Preemptive bid
4. Five-card majors 5. Negative double

Zain Moledina - Editor
zaris@pacific.net.sg
April 1st 2007