Grandslam #43

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
June/July 07 ISSUE #43

1. Message from the Convenor – Carlton Parker
I'm impressed with how well-dressed Bridge players are these days. And polite too. I was about to share a juicy bit of gossip, but our opponents just didn't want to hear it. They were too busy writing the complete and legible score on the traveler. They quickly passed the boards to the adjacent table and sat down quietly for their next round. Lately, no matter which direction partner and I sit, the good cards just seem to come our way. And partner remembers every one of our conventions, never overbids or underbids, and is even aware of and executes every single defensive signal. Even if we go one down on a contract, other pairs are likely to go down two. I didn't know Bridge could be such fun. All around we hear the constant repetition of "Thank you partner." "Good luck partner." and "Well done, opponents!" And seeing the married couples smiling across the table at one another like they're on their honeymoon is especially heart-warming. Yes, Bridge just keeps getting better and better.
Please don't wake me up. I'm enjoying this dream.

2. Siglap CC Open Pairs – 20th May
Following the format of previous years, Siglap CC Open Pairs match was followed by lots of food and the ever-popular karaoke session. A wide spread of playing abilities in the 19 pairs normally would mean a volatile result but there were no surprises this year. SRC did exceptionally well with members taking 1st, 3rd, 6th (Adelene Sheperdson) 9th (Dorothy Wong) and 11th (Pat and N.W, Leong). The game was organised by Tan Eng Choo and her team with our own Carlton Parker as the director.
1st Zain Moledina (SRC) & Tze Cheow Sng 66.2%
2nd Chia CL & Chia BY 63.6%
3rd Shamim Moledina (SRC) & Murli Vassanmal (SRC) 61.7%
4th Ron Oh & Tan Peng Huat 58.0%

3, SCBA Vesak Day Special – 31st May
The 26-board Vesak Day game attracted a massive turnout of 32 pairs. SRC was only represented by Zain, partnering for the first time with Brazilian Caio, who will be stationed in Singapore for 2 years. Their percentage was 62.5%.
1st Yoke Lan Foo & Sandhu Kwnivilla
2nd Zain Moledina (SRC) & Caio Feilhaber
3rd Emily Hee & Jane Choo

4, Beginner Bridge Course - March 23rd to May 11th
Ten members decided to shelve their Friday activities to learn the fascinating game of Bridge. The six lessons were conducted over 2 months by Zain Moledina. The SRC Bridge Section conducts beginner classes about twice a year.

5. Premier League Update
SRC hosted the 6th round of the round robin League with a dinner. Our appreciation goes to the SRC MC for making this event possible and especially to our Social Chairman Richard Yong and Vice Chairman Steven Goh for gracing the occasion.
With the final round still to go, the positions are as follows – 1st (tied) Singapore Island CC & Keppel, 3rd Chinese Swimming Club, 4th SRC, 5th National University of Singapore Staff, 6th Geylang WCC, 7th Siglap CC, and 8th Serangoon Gardens CC.
It is still possible for any of the top 5 clubs to win the championship!

6. Bridge Rules of Thumb
We continue our series of tips with 5 on Defense.
a) Avoid under-leading an honour on the opening lead in a suit contract.
b) Split honors on defense if it will ensure that you get tricks to which you are entitled.
c) Don't signal with a potential trick.
d) Playing the Queen under Partner's lead of the King guarantees the Jack (or a singleton).
e) If you can see that declarer can make his contract in three suits, shift to the fourth suit, regardless of the apparent danger.

7. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results from April 3 to
DATE FIRST SECOND THIRD .
April 3 Koh/RonOh Zain/Shawn=Teodore/BengTee
April 10 Ron/Rahim Zain/Trevor Alan/Helen
April 17 Zain/Trevor Dot/Ron Leong/Pat
April 24 Zain/Shawn BengTee/Teodor BK/Richard
May 1 RonOh/Peng Huat Yu/Ping Zain/Henry
May 8 Yu/Ping Carl/Chris Beng Tee/Teodor
May 15 Leong/Pat B K/Kanan Nancy/Evelyn
May 22 Shamim/Murli EngChoo/Evelyn Zain/Leong
May 29 Shamim/Sng=Yu/Ping Helen/Ron

Points to Ponder – Points to Ponder – Points to Ponder

8. Worst than Last
A bad attitude is worse than losing.

9. Golden Reply
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

10. Limited Value
Experience, unfortunately, will teach only the teachable.

11. Puzzle -Most Likely HCP
As a deck of cards contains 40 High Card Points, the most probable hand, not surprisingly, is one with 10 HCP. So, the question is “what is the next most probable HCP hand”?
9 HCP
11 HCP
9 or 11 HCP is equally likely.
Some Other HCP

BROKEN BRIDG –JQK (jokes, quotes & krap)
12. Bridge Around the World
In Italy, all Bridge Players are important.
In the US, only the successful Bridge Players are important.
In China, all Bridge players are equally unimportant.
In Singapore, you have to explain what a Bridge Player is.

13. Car-toons
Choosing a bridge partner is like choosing a car. Some want a flashy Coupe. Some want a strong pick-up Truck. Some may just want a reliable Sedan. But most end up with a large, boring SUV.

14. Lost by a Trick
Bridge is the second most exciting indoor sport, and the first one shouldn't have spectators.

15. Bridge to Heaven Man: Is there anything I can do for a very long life? Doctor: Play Bridge Man: Will it help? Doctor: No, but you will stop thinking about wanting it.

16. Dropping Standards Accept that some days you're the pigeon and some days you're the statue.

17. Another Reason why Bridge is Better
When you visit a bridge website, you don’t have to worry about getting emails from wildteenagesluts.com for the rest of your life.

18. Yet Another Reason why Bridge is better
You can still do it in your 80s.

19. Daffy-nit-shuns – Bath Coup
Bath Coup -- getting to use the tub before your roommate.

20. Daffy-nit-shuns - Brain
Brain - An apparatus with which we think we think.

21. A Sign that You are a Bridge Addict
Your bumper sticker reads: MY OTHER LIFE IS BRIDGE

22. Bridge of Pleasure
Art and Bridge are two roads by which people escape from circumstances to pleasure.

23. Pumping Irons
I am not crazy about bridge. I just play it everyday to keep in shape for chess.

24. A Great Deal of Time
I am not a bridge addict - I can go for hours and hours without touching any cards.

25. A Reason why Bridge is Better
When dealing with a bridge pro, you don’t have to worry that she might be an undercover vice squad cop.

26. Three Reasons Why Women Prefer Bridge
You can play bridge any time of the month.
When the cards get old and soft, you just get a new one.
At least you can be assured that a game will last 7 minutes.

27. Better Half
Money cannot make you a better Bridge player but it can sure buy you a better partner.

28. Even the Croc Smiles
Always be polite to your opponents, even if you don't mean it.

29. What Really Counts
Remember, it doesn't matter whether you win or lose;
what matters is whether I win or lose.

30. Confusion Says …
In Love and Bridge, man no need lots of finesses when a few squeezes will do.

31. Confusion Says …
A man without bridge is like a fish without bicycle.

32. How to Win
The way to winning bridge is to study hard, practice often and have an IQ of 200.

33. Breaking Even
A computer once beat me at Bridge. But it was no match for me at kick boxing.

34. Calling a Spade
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes - Oscar Wilde

35. The Meaning of Life
If bridge is the answer, you better rephrase the question.

35. Puzzle Answer -- Most Likely HCP
Answer is (A) 9 HCP.
The probability percentages are: 10 HCP = 9.4051
9 HCP = 9.3562
11 HCP = 8.9447
The reason why 9 HCP is more probable than 11 HCP (for you technically minded people out there) is because the distribution is not exactly Gaussian (Bell curve) but Binomial. One side of the distribution sharply ends at 0 HCP while the other gently tails off at 37 HCP (not 40 HCP due to 13 cards).

Zain Moledina – Editor Jun 1st 2007