Grandslam #44

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
August/Sept 07 ISSUE #44

1. Message from the Convenor – Carlton Parker
In Patti Page’s 1953 Country & Western hit "Changing Partners", she laments being separated from her partner and vows that -- once they're back together -- she "will never change partners again."
That was on the dance floor of course and, although the Bridge room may look a bit like a dance floor at the end of every round, most of us are not quite ready to make such an all-or-nothing partnership ultimatum.
Here's my advice: whether with your regular partner or a pickup partner, relax and enjoy the dance. It may not always be an award-winning performance, but sometimes just keeping in step will keep you smiling.

2. Bridge Premier League
Imagine this scenario. After 3 months, it is finally the very last round of a round robin tournament between 8 clubs. The maximum points a team can win is 25. Singapore Island CC and Keppel Club are tied at first. Chinese Swimming Club 8 points behind SRC another 2 behind and National University of Singapore Staff another 2 behind. The rest are way back.
In this final round, 4 of the top 5 teams are playing each other. SICC against CSC, Keppel against NUSS. SRC (having played them before) is pitted against 6th placed Geylang WCC. For SRC to win, 3 things have to happen. SRC must take full points from GWCC and both leaders must lose their matches. A tall order indeed!
Well SRC did win with the maximum 25 points, and NUSS did topple Keppel but SICC won their bout with CSC.
Results : 1st SICC ; 2nd SRC ; 3rd NUSS ; 4th Keppel Club ; 5th Chinese Swimming Club
Congratulations to our team of Murli Vassanmal, Shamim Moledina, Richard Lim, B K Tham, Yu Chun Yee, Pat Leong, N W Leong and Zain Moledina.
Our deepest appreciation also goes to the SRC Management Committee, especially Mr. Richard Yong and Mr. Steven Goh for their continuous support and encouragement

3. 21st World Wide Bridge Contest
Ever wondered how you would fare against the rest of the world without spending a bundle roaming the earth? Well a piece of the world comes to Singapore occasionally in the World Wide Bridge Contest organised by the World Bridge Federation. Set hands are sent via computer to bridge organisations in various countries where they are played locally. The results are tabulated and sent back to WBF be consolidated into an overall "world" result.
In the Singapore section, Zain Moledina (SRC) and Caio Feilhaber came in fourth.


4. Bridge Rules of Thumb
We continue with our series of guidelines with 4 on the more intangible aspects of bridge.
1, Never criticize other players. Discuss issues constructively in private.
2. Learn the rules of Duplicate Bridge to protect yourself from mistakes made at the table.
3. If your Partner makes a mistake, don't think about why he did it; think about what you can do to overcome the challenge.
4. The enjoyment in the game is not trying to win, but in making the right decisions at every point of the game. The winning will eventually follow.

5. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results from June 5 to July 31
DATE FIRST SECOND THIRD .
June 5 Carl & Chris Jane & Kanan Ron S. & RonOh
June 12 Molly & Jenny Zain & Henry Nancy & Alan
July 3 Pat & Leong Ron Oh & Eng Choo Nancy & Evelyn
July 10 Yu & Ping Carl & Helen Zain & Caio
July 17 Ai Leng & Rana Zain & Shawn Yu & Ping
July 24 Ai_Leng & Rana Carl & Ron Oh Greg & Shawn
July 31 Carl & Ron Oh Greg & Shawn BK & Richard
Points to Ponder – Points to Ponder – Points to Ponder

6. The Blame Game
You have no control over what the other pair does. But you have control over what you do.

7. Brilliance not Required?The way to win is not to execute the rare coup but to play consistently and not make any silly mistakes

8. Puzzle – The Worst Offence (Answer at bottom)
According to the Laws of Contract Bridge, what is the worst possible offence that a Bridge player can commit?

BROKEN BRIDG –JQK (jokes, quotes & krap)
9. Three Reason why Bridge is Better
i) You don’t have to use gloves when playing with a stranger.
ii) You don't have to convince your Bridge partner that you're playing for the first time
iii) If you find a permanent partner, you don’t have to deal with priests, counselors or take blood-tests.

10. Daffy-nit-shuns - Bridge
Bridge is organised loafing

11. Confusion Says …
Bridge player like teabag -- cannot tell how strong until put in hot water.

12. Money No Enough
Bridge is like money. Only too much is enough.

13. Cry BabyIf a bridge addict has to choose between playing Bridge and saving an infant's life, he will of course choose to save the infant's life, unless of course it is a major tournament.

14. Slow Hand
If you give up Bridge, you don’t actually live longer. It just seems that way.

15. Better Half
Perhaps the saddest lot that can befall mortal man is to be a worse bridge player than his wife.

16. Top of Nothing
A common joke God plays on humans is to make them mediocre bridge players.

17. Share the Pain
When everything is going real well between you and your spouse, you should both take up Bridge. I don’t see why we should languish in our misery alone.

18. How’s That Again?
The problem with winning is that it does not teach you how to deal with failure.

19. Not So Cold Turkey
Giving up Bridge is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times.

20. Psychological Warfare
Bridge is war without the physical action.

21. Up-rooted
What "Root Says" — tips work on lesson deals, but never in real life.

22. A Reason Why Women Prefer Bridge
You can't get diseases from a partner you don't know well.

23. Another Reason Why Women Prefer Bridge
You don't have to take a shower either before or after playing bridge.

24. Yet Another Reason Why Women Prefer Bridge
You can play bridge as long as you want and it won't get sore.

25. Heavyweight Fright
Can you imagine a world without bridge? All those fat lazy people would be loose on the streets. Absolutely frightening.

26. Playing it Straight
Bridge is so much fun it is difficult to believe it is legal.

27. Short on Excuses
I failed to make the bridge team because of my height

28. Puzzle – The Worst Offence - Answer
Law 73 B2 states "The gravest possible offence is for a partnership to exchange information through prearranged methods of communication other than those sanctioned by these Laws. A guilty partnership risks expulsion."
Clearly people who cheat have very low moral and ethical standards and should not be allowed to play bridge. And who would trust them in other matters as well?

Zain Moledina – Editor Aug 1st 2007
Email : zaris@pacific.net.sg
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