Grandslam #28

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
NOV/DEC 04 ISSUE #28


1. Message from the Convenor – Shamim Moledina
I was pleased to see a new high of 14 participants registering in our Beginner Bridge Course, including 8 new section members. Unfortunately, as in past courses, many dropped out before the end. A learner can be easily demoralised when presented with so many things to remember. He may not realize that it is ok to play and have fun without an exact knowledge of the game. Perhaps he was told off by an impatient partner or immediately thrown into the card shark-infested waters of open competition. Fortunately, there are some games held every week just for novice groups. I have observed that if a beginner makes it through 6 months of regular practice, bridge will invariably become a part of his enriched life. I hope everyone makes an effort to help them to make this transition. We were all beginners once!

2. Venue for Novice Practice
Our Bridge section committee members recently conducted a beginner course over 7 weeks. While many novices get together informally to practice, there are special novice games organised at the following venues : 9.30am Tuesday at SGCC, 9.30am Friday at PA, 7.30pm Friday and 10.30am Sunday at Siglap CC.

3. SGCC Sparkling Diamonds – 12 Sept 04
This annual tournament attracted 14 pairs. Congratulations to Ron Oh & Molly for their victory. Runners-up were Rahim & Zain (SRC) with SGCC’s Lye Meng & Ng Kong third. Ron Savage and Dorothy Wong (SRC) won the prize for the highest successful Diamond contract. Congratulations to all.

4. Siglap CC Open Pairs – 18 Sept 04
The tournament attracted a varied group of players – from novices to experienced players. Mathematicians will be pleased to note that the results reflected this with a bi-nodal distribution with a clustering of scores between 55% to 59% and another between 42% to 46%.
Yung & Ting won the event, but special kudos goes to Soh Hong & Evelyn for wresting 2nd place from Rahim & Zain (SRC). Murli (SRC) & Shamim (SRC) shared 4th with Richard (SRC) & David.

5. CSC Teams Tournament – 29 Oct 04
Chinese Swimming Club hosted its first Teams event with a round robin format of 7 rounds of 4 boards. The final result had the team of Rahim, Ron Savage, Yew Chung and Zain (SRC) winning over Peng Huat, Alan, Ron Oh and David. Taking third was Rana, Anna, Lucy and Murli (SRC). Well done all.

6. A Long Short Time
Tobias Stone, enfant terrible of the 1950s bridge scene, always had difficulty keeping a steady bridge partner. When he got married, he was asked if his marriage would last.
“Of course it will last. It will last for months and months and months.”
(Note: the marriage lasted years and years and years and so did his eventual bridge partner, Alvin Roth with whom he developed the “forcing 1NT” concept.)

7. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results – 7th Sep to Oct 26th
DATE Pairs FIRST SECOND THIRD
7 Sep 9 Rahim/RonS = Yu/Ping Sri/Siva
14 Sep 10 Rana/Rahim Murli/Shamim = Joli/Zain
21 Sep 10 Greg/RonQ Zain/Shamim RonOh/Veronica
28 Sep 13 Rahim/RonS Sri/Siva Alan/Stella
5 Oct (cancelled due to Bridge Escapade to Genting – see below)
12 Oct 10 Zain/Shamim Pat/Leong RonOh/PengHuat
19 Oct 6 PengHuat/RonOh Rae/John Leong/Pat=others
26 Oct 9 PengHuat/RonOh Anna/Yu Chris/Carl

8. Laws of Bridge – Inappropriate Communication
Law 73 basically states that partners shall not communicate through the manner in which calls or plays are made, through remarks, gestures, questions, alerts, answers, tempo, mannerism, emphasis, haste or hesitation. If it occurs, the receiver of this illegal communication must avoid taking any advantage. The gravest possible offence is for a partnership to exchange information through prearranged methods. A guilty party risks expulsion. Law 40 clearly states that concealed partnership understandings are illegal.
It may be difficult to prove that inappropriate communications has indeed taken place if the player later claims that it was a “psychic” bid or style, meaning that his partner was unaware of the true nature of his action. It is best to call the Director to assess if an infraction had indeed taken place and whether subsequent bids and plays were in a manner consistent with the normal understanding of his partner’s bid or play.

9. Genting Bridge Escapade #5 – Oct 3rd to 7th 2004
Once again, a coach full of excited bridge players made their way to the cool hills of Genting for some hot bridge. As expected, many of the regulars beelined to the casino after the games. However, others took a more leisurely pace to enjoy the beautiful scenery from the cable car, Chin Swee Temple, Giant Buddha, Mushroom farm and the Awana area. While some tried out their voices at the Karaoke, others preferred to be serenaded in the Viennese gondolas to the soothing “O Solo Mio”.
The first day saw many our Genting first timers dominating the bridge. Dulari and Ron Quan took first place from Tara and Shamim with Manna and Riekha third.
Ever improving BK and Helen won on the second day ahead of Ron Savage and Dorothy with Chun Yee and Ping third.
Zain and Shamim won on the third day, ahead of Ron Oh and Helen with Pat and Leong third.
The traditional “Fun & Games” session on the final day saw the participants trying to unscramble their own names to fit the clues. As an added twist, many couples had their names combined to form hilarious anagrams like mania, punching, horny, negligee, annoy and harassing!
All too soon, the 5 days were over; some pockets lighter no doubt, but memories and friendship richer.

L I g h t e r S I d e O f B r I d g e

10. A Question of Priority
A man was sent a ransom note saying that he was to bring $50,000 to the local park at 9pm that night if he ever wanted to see his wife alive again.
He didn't arrive until after 11pm. A masked man stepped out from behind some bushes and growled, "What took ya so long? You're over two hours late."
"Hey! Give me a break," whined the man. "They needed a fourth for bridge at the club."

11. Sick Six Sex
A bridge fanatic husband and his wife played bridge all afternoon at the club and adjourn for dinner. He goes over every hand with his wife, writing on every napkin, not to mention their tablecloth. They go back, play another session, and adjourn to the same restaurant for a late snack. Again he starts to go over the hands. Finally the wife says "Bill, I can't take it any more, can't we talk about something else, anything else like politics, the movies, sports, sex?
Bill says, "Sex? Yes, I remember, on board number sex, I had sex diamonds to the king queen..."

12. Joke Puzzle – Lonely King
Opposition has not bid and the declarer (who is from China) plays in a 6NT contract. He has a small doubleton club in his hand and a doubleton CK-C3 in dummy. He leads his low club and plays the C3 from dummy and incredibly dropping the singleton Ace and thus making his contract. What is this play called? (Answer at the bottom)

13. Aggressive Modern Bidding
Thanks to modern bidding, many pairs have no difficulty reaching their 19-point game. The difficulty, of course, will come in the play.

14. Sympathy for the Devil
What is the difference between partnering the Devil and partnering your wife?
The Devil shuts up after you admit your mistake.

15. The Easier Option
A bridge novice was polishing a lamp and… poof! Out popped a genie. “There is a recession on, I can grant you only one wish.”
The novice thought a while and said, “I wish for world peace.”
“You’ve got to be kidding! I’m only a genie.”
The novice thought again and then suggested, “OK, then make me the best bridge player.”
“Hmm… ” The genie pondered. “Now let me see … How many countries are there in the world again….”

16. Daffy-Nit-Shuns : Trump Coup
Triumph of Ivana’s attorneys in securing a huge alimony.

17. Daffy-Nit-Shuns : Law of Total Tricks
Recent Las Vegas ordinance to reduce prostitution.

18. Regal Problems
Smart bridge players don’t get married because they know that 5 Queens is one too many.

19. Why Bridge is Better
You can blame your partner for a poor performance.

20. As Eye See It
A Bridge match is a test of your skill against your opponent’s luck.

21. Murphy’s Law – Making Your Contract
If there is more than one way to play the hand, you will always choose the way that brings you down

22. Guaranteed Way to Play Better Bridge
If you really want to get better at Bridge, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

23. Confusion Says …
Man who plays Bridge once a week is sociable. Man who plays 4 times a week is competitive. Man who plays every day has no life.

24. Conserving Space
Unlike most sports, you only need 15cm of space to play bridge -- the distance between your ears.

25. Endless Enigma
Bridge is for people who like to do puzzles without answers.

26. Answer to Joke Puzzle – Lonely King
A Peeking Duck
Zain Moledina, Editor
zaris@pacific.net.sg
November 1st 2004