The Grandslam #56 Aug/Sep 09

THE GRANDSLAM
SRC BRIDGE SECTION NEWSLETTER
August/September 09 ISSUE #56

1. Message from the Out-Going Convenor – Zain Moledina
Shamim was elected Convenor at our AGM 10 days ago and this will be my last ramble. I will humbly avoid usurping her convenorship by not covering issues, future plans, strategy or even anything to do with bridge! Rather I will put on my editor’s hat and shamelessly pat myself on the back on this newsletter..
As I type it out every 2 months, foremost on my mind is integrity. Is the data and information in the articles accurate? Are the names spelt correctly? Are the opinions balanced and fair?
Timeliness is another aspect of integrity. Readers expect to see it on time on the 1st of even numbered months. Over the past decade; this newsletter has never been more than 1 day late. Early yes, late no.
Integrity also means that personal viewpoints, biases and prejudices – especially religious and political comments, quotes and articles -- are kept to an absolute essential minimum. The last thing I want is to be accused of a hidden agenda. And how do I deal with other groups if they ask for equal time and coverage to present their side?
“With a trivial newsletter with a low circulation, why do you even bother with all this.” you say?
This is a fair question. Unfortunately, if you have to ask, no answer will be satisfactory.

2. SRC Bridge Section 10th AGM – July 19th 12pm to 2pm
Quorum was easily met and the AGM was quickly underway after a light lunch. Current membership stands at 54. Outgoing Convenor Zain Moledina sporting his shiny new bald look, said that the section’s achievements during the 2008/09 term have been the best ever for SRC. Details have been well publicized in our GRANDSLAM newsletter and do not need repeating. He congratulated the outgoing committee and section members for their achievements as well as the SRC Management Committee for so many years of financial and moral support.
Treasurer N. W. Leong stated that the section’s funds remain excellent as per the financial summary report which was distributed to members.

Elections for the 2009/10 committee were then held and all positions were again uncontested. In-coming Convenor Shamim Moledina emphasised her deep passion for the game and how it has helped her memory and thinking process. However she expressed disappointment that experienced bridge members are not stepping forward to serve as Convenor or even join the Committee in spite of so much one-to-one persuasion. This will deprive the section of new ideas and vibrancy.
In the Q & A session, several members spoke on the serious space and venue problems which the Bridge Section is facing at SRC. They focused on the loss of the 1883 Lounge for this year’s Teams event in spite of a confirmed booking. Social Chairman Richard Yong assured the members that this type of problem will never happen again.

Committee Incoming 2009/10 Outgoing 2008/09
Convenor Shamim Moledina shamimole@hotmail.com Zain Moledina (+Editor)
V. Convenor Zain Moledina (+Editor) zainmol@gmail.com Shamim Moledina
Treasurer Ong Cheng Huat ongchenghuat@gmail.com N. W. Leong
Secretary Steven Chew steven2999@hotmail.com Ong Cheng Huat
SRC Bridge Section Coordinator Siti Mariam siti.pr@src.org.sg

3. SRC 9th Open Teams – The President’s Trophy -- July 19th 2.30pm to 10pm
Once again we had to close registration due to the overwhelming response. It was gratifying to note that 5 out the 10 teams were “SRC” teams with a several players with about a year’s experience and their first taste of open competition!
The occasion was graced by a record number of SRC Management Committee – Social Chairman Richard Yong, Sarbit Singh, Ronald Wee and Vice President Capt Koh. Thank you all for your kind words, encouragement and support.
Singapore's Bridge Ambassador, Ms Jane Choo ably directed the 10-team round robin format. By dinner time after Round 6 it was becoming clear that there was not going to be any upsets. In the final round, Rylai came from behind to nip X-dream by 2 VP. SRC’s General Manager Abdul Rashid and SRC President Dr. Johnny Goh proudly awarded the inaugural President's Trophy to the winners.
1st: Rylai : Capt Kelvin Ng, Chang Sui Sim, Lam Cheng Yen, Tan Wei Seng
2nd X-Dream: Capt Zain Moledina (SRC), Trevor Li, Mohammad Sadooghi-Alvandi, Nancy Chan
3rd Gap Gap Gap : Capt Marvin Lai, Colin Loy, Liw Meng Hong, Yong Kien Fong
Crossword Puzzle (see below) Prize: Colin Loy

4. Geylang West 4th Annual Pairs – June 28th Ever had the experience when the opponents bid 1H-2H which is passed all round to you? You balance with a 2S only to see them jump to 4H to make an ice-cold contract. Ouch! Well at least I made those sweet ladies smile. GWCC, as usual, turned on the charm to host a 12-table tournament, about half of whom were social players. Compliments goes to Convenor Lee Chin and her staff for a well organised event. 1st Ron Oh & Koh Sei Hian 2nd Tan Kit Peng & Maureen Mah 3rd Shamim & Zain Moledina (SRC) 4th Rahim Rahmat & Ron Savage

5. Beginner Course – Completed June 2009 The 8 lesson beginner course was successfully completed. Thanks to Instructor Carlton Parker and for all those extra lessons!

6. CSC In-house Handicap Pairs – 26th July Congratulations to Pat and N. W. Leong, who are also members of SRC, for winning the Chinese Swimming Club’s In-House 2009 Handicap Pairs.

7. Premier League 2009 – Final Results After winning the title last year, we had to be satisfied with 2nd Place this year. We were somewhat unfortunate to lose the services of one of our anchor pairs until the last game. Hopes of catching up were also dashed when 3rd place NUSS did not get a postponement match against CSC and had to forfeit their match 0-22. Nevertheless, kudos to team captain Prof Yu Chun Yee, Shamim Moledina (V. Capt), B. K. Tham, Carlton Parker, Chris Wong, Dorothy Wong, Murli Vassanmal, Richard Lim and Zain Moledina for another solid performance this year.

8. National Bridge League 2009 – Update SRC Dreamers League Results against:- Blue Moon Won 23-7 March 21st
Congenital Optimists Won 17-13 April 18th
X-Men Draw 15-15 April 19th
SICC (Red) Won 16-14 June 20th
Bozzetto (Rosso) Lost 12-18 July 5th

In the Knockout Cup section, we are in the Swiss Consolation pool.

9. Lowest IMP Scores in a Major Head to Head Teams Tournament In head to head team play, this infamous record goes to a surprisingly strong team of Eddie Kantar, Billy Eisenberg, Alan Sontag, Fred Hamilton and Jim Cayne. They lost the first 16 hands by 68 to 2 IMPs and were penalised another 10 IMPs for slow play for a score of -8 IMPs. There is now hope for the rest of us!

10. SRC Tuesday Bridge Results from May 19th to July 28th DATE PAIRS FIRST SECOND THIRD .
May 19 11 JinMeng/Petrina Karol/Pheck Ping/Yu
May 26 13 BK/Richard Ping/Yu Alex/CCChen
Jun 2 11 RonS/Shawn Alan/BK Alex/CCChen
Jun 9 10 Leong/Pat David/Peng Huat Dot/RonS
Jun 16 7 Leong/Pat Ping/Yu HongChoon/ YuetWah
Jun 23 12 Koh/RonOh Shamim/Zain Carl/Rajesh
Jun 30 14 Yu/Zain Dot/Ron HongChoon/ChengHuat
July 7 14NS CCChen/Shamim Nancy/RonOh Thomas/Zain
14EW Karol/Pheck Ping/Yu Evelyn/Jane July
14 16 Alex/Firoz Ping/Yu BengTee/Teodor
July 21 12 BengTee/Teodor CCChen/Zain Dot/Ron
July 28 9 Yu/Chen Carl/Chris Karol/Pheck

11. Bridge and Dementia – A Study
“We play for blood,” says Ruth Cummins, 92, before taking a sip of Red Bull at a bridge game. “It’s what keeps us going,” adds Georgia Scott, 99. “It’s where our closest friends are.” In recent years scientists have become intensely interested in what could be called a super memory club. Less than 1 in 200 people aged 90 and over do not have even a trace of dementia. It is a group that, for the first time, is large enough to provide a glimpse into the lucid brain at the furthest reach of human life. Researchers are trying to tease apart what exactly is essential in preserving mental sharpness to the end. Laguna Woods Village is a sprawling retirement community of 20,000 south of Los Angeles. It is at the center of the world’s largest decades-long study of health and mental acuity in the elderly. Begun by the University of Southern California researchers in 1981, it has included more than 14,000 people aged over 65 out of which, more than 1,000 are aged 90 or older. Overall statistics show that for the one in 600 people who make it to 95, nearly 40 percent of the men and 60 percent of the women qualify for a diagnosis of dementia. Not so for the bridge oldies. Bridge requires a strong memory. Each player must read his or her partner’s strategy by closely following what is played. Good players remember every key card played and its significance. If you forget a critical card, or fall behind in understanding what is happening at the table, it can impact the result — and the social connection — dearly. “When a partner starts to slip, you can’t trust them,” said Julie Davis, 89, a regular player living in Laguna Woods Village. “It’s terrible to say it that way, and worse to watch it happen.” “These are the most successful oldies on earth, and they’re only just beginning to teach us what’s important in their genes, in their routines, in their lives,” said Dr. Claudia Kawas, a neurologist at the University of California, Irvine. “We think, for example, that it’s very important to use your brain, to keep challenging your mind, but all mental activities may not be equal. We’re seeing some evidence that a social component may be crucial.”

12. Court Cards
Court Cards were originally called Coat Cards and now the term Picture Cards is also being used. It has been claimed that Henry VIII was the model for all the kings. This is based on ancient English cards which had the same curling mustache and divided beard on all the kings. French cards developed along similar lines and there are documents to identify all the court cards.

Spades Hearts Diamonds Clubs
Kings David Charles Caesar Alexandra
Queen Pallas Judith Rachel Argine
Jack Hogier Lahire Hector Lancelot
All figures are real or mythical except Argine, which is an anagram of Regina (i.e. Queen). The court cards have evolved differently in other countries. In Hungary, the card characters are taken from Schiller's Wilhelm Tell which was set in Switzerland! However the cards were never used there! In the trappola pack from the Italy-Spain region, a Cavilier replaces the Queen. German versions also do not have Queens but have 2 types of Jacks - Ober and Unter. To complicate matters a bit more, some German packs incorporate back the Queen but do not eliminate the Jacks thus making 16 court cards in all! Well, at least the pack looks nicer!


13. Bridge Crossword Puzzle
Across Clues 1 A ____ (7) defense may be indicated when the contract has barely enough points to make
5 Type of Redouble (3)
7 In ko tournaments, any team that loses ___ ____ (2,3)
8 The National League used to be called _____ -Club (5)
9 Best score in match points (3)
10 The ______ (7) of Bridge can be traced to Whist and Biritch
12 The ______ (7) Bowl is the most coveted prize in Bridge
13 A Bridge team is a four- ____ (3) team
15 The Chinese used these for tabulating Bridge scores 50 years ago (5) 17 A popular opening lead against NT is from the _____ (5) sequence of a strong suit

© Created for SRC Bridge Section by Zain Moledina. All rights reserved

18 Properly bid contracts only go down ____ (3) to bad breaks
19 After the round, what an Individual movement chart may tell you to do? (2,5)

Down Clues
1 A Jack has one (5)
2 At 3NT, you may need one in every suit (7)
3 ________ (11) a new suit is usually forcing for one round
4 A common type of end play is the _______ (11) and throw-in
5 With an odd number, one pair has to ___-out (3) each round.
6 A player usually _____ (5) his cards by rank and suit
11 In match point, most prefer to risk an NT contract rather than play ___ a _____ (2,5) suit
12 A bridge _____ (5) usually has a slot for the traveler
14 Direction (5)
16 Top card (3)

BROKEN BRIDG –JQK (jokes, quotes & krap)

14. Out-Going Committee Members – the Inside Take …by Zain

Convenor – Sits back and takes credit for successes. Wastes time writing newsletters and generating ideas which he claims is “brainwork”. Favourite line “What is the use of a bloody committee if I have to do real work?”

Vice Convenor – Works like crazy getting things organised and completed.
Favourite Line “Ideas are dirt cheap. Even cheaper if you don’t have to implement them.”

Treasure – Eagle eye for details and mistakes.
Favourite Line “Something funny going on here and I ain’t laughing,”

Secretary – Looks at issues from many angles.
Favourite Line “It’s not working out … let’s try it this way.”

15. Therefore I Am … not Many people would sooner die than think -- and usually they do," lamented British Philosopher Bertrand Russell,

16. Better than Nothing All Bridge Players should have at least a murderer in their family, so they will have someone to look up to.

17. Bitter Half I play bridge to be entertained. If I wanted to be stressed and abused, I might as well stay home with my wife.

18. Blown Bulb How many Bridge players do you need to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and 3 to tell him how he could have done it better.

19. Saving Grace Partners are extremely important. Who else to blame when you lose?

20. Heads He Win, Tails I Lose A happy partnership is a matter of give and take. You give in and your partner takes credit.

21. Why Women Love Bridge Players? (original) They sometimes do a Double before they Pass out.

22. That Certain Smile How can you tell if someone is a lousy bridge player? He has 5 smiling Kibitzers watching him play.

23. Daffy-nit-shuns - Hand Hog
Hand Hog : A player who thinks he is best qualified to be declarer. A standard tactic is to avoid showing minor suits and 4-card majors in order to quickly bid NT -- even outside the agreed range and shape.

24. How Bridge Laws Relate to Real Life (modified from Bridge Magazine)

You telephoned me when my husband was on the other line (Simultaneous Calls) but did not tell me what you wanted (Incomplete Call).
I said I would call back but before I could (Hesitation), you called me again (Call out of Rotation).
Of course I slam down the phone (Call out of Rotation – Rejected).
Then you sent me a letter (Play of Card Accepted) but I was shocked that you asked me out for just a Big Mac (Insufficient Bid).
Of course I refused (Insufficient Bid Rejected).
You then tried to offer me 2 Big Macs (Attempt to Correct with a Double).
Luckily you realised your mistake (Illegal Bid) and offered me an expensive dinner. (Corrected by Sufficient Bid)
During dinner you told me you were single (Deliberate Deception) but luckily I found out the truth from a mutual friend (Unauthorised Information).
Later you dared to ask me to go to your home (Inappropriate Communications) for some action (Illegal Play) and cheat on my husband (Violation of Partnership Agreement).
When I refused you (Claim Rejected) you asked me again (Requirement to Repeat Claim Statement).
You saw that I was hesitating (Extraneous Information from Partner).
You knew I was vulnerable (Scoring) and would give in (Acquiescence Occurs) and follow you (Wrong Lead Accepted).
However I changed my mind in time (Acquiescence in Claim Withdrawn).
Now you did not want to pay for the meal (Retraction of Card Played) and so I left (Play Ceases).

25. Bridge Over Troubled Waters (original)
My wife finally snapped last month and committed suicide. For years she has claimed that I'm a Bridge fanatic. She said all I ever read about is Bridge. All I ever talk about is Bridge. All I ever think about is Bridge. So why did she have to jump off a Bridge?

26. Almost Perfect
Isn't it a shame how 99% of bridge players give the whole game a bad name.

27. Mental Work-out
After learning bridge, the only exercise I get is letting my imagination run wild!

28. How’s That Again?
Another Beginner Bridge Course is starting next month. If you missed it the last time, this is your golden opportunity to miss it again.

29. Tee not Pee Bridge Success is more attitude than aptitude.

30. End Play Doctor: "If you play bridge, the stress will kill you by the time you are 60” Bridge Player: "But I am 60!" "Doctor: Have you paid my bill yet?"

31. Crossword Puzzle Answers
ACROSS
1. PASSIVE 5. SOS 7. IS OUT 8. INTER 9. TOP 10. ORIGINS 12. BERMUDA 13. MAN 15. ABACI 17. INNER 18. DUE 19. GO NORTH
DOWN
1. POINT 2. STOPPER 3. INTRODUCING 4. ELIMINATION 5. SIT 6. SORTS 11. IN MINOR 12. BOARD 14. NORTH 16. ACE

32. JQK till you Drop
For the LARGEST COLLECTION of Bridge Jokes, Quotes and Krap in the WHOLE WORLD (no joke!), visit http://bridgejokes.blogspot.com. These are extracted from past issues of THE GRANDSLAM. If you want to read the articles and puzzles as well, visit THE GRANDSLAM archives at http://bridge-newsletter.blogspot.com. To subscribe to this free newsletter, pls send email to address below.


Zain Moledina, SRC Bridge Vice Convenor & Editor
August 1, 2009, zaris@singnet.com.sg